Dear People Whom God Loves,
We now look at sloth. Like all the rest of our human desires, sloth can move beyond taking time for ourselves and the need to relax from our often over-activity. I find that my sloth at times takes the form of putting off doing things that I don’t really want to do. I find that understandable, but I also realize that it is counterproductive. It just makes the task more difficult. I find that this can be confused with the need to pause and reflect about what to do and how to do it.
I find this a problem in the area of physical exercise and in the area of where confrontation is involved or some other unpleasant interaction with others. It helps when I am able to be honest about what is holding me back and—without putting myself down—to recognize that it is also my desire to loosen the grip that sloth has on me.
I now also ask us to reflect on fear. Fear is valuable. It can help us avoid dangers that are real and dangers that are not healthy and reasonable to be exposed to.
I learned to be over-sensitive to fear from the time that I was a little child. For that reason, I feel fear from things and situations that are not objectively that scary. It also means that there are situations and things that are necessary to face that produce an exaggerated amount of fear. That complicates matters for me because it means that I not only have to face and do things that are difficult, but I also have to face the exaggerated fear.
This led to my second of two major depressions. Learning to face that was the beginning of healing. I also realize that it continues to be a challenge for me.
The value of all these “angel and beast” things in me is that they force me to accept that I am a plain, ordinary human and that that is okay. Indeed, it is a gift.
I would venture to guess that not accepting that we are human is the biggest obstacle to our spiritual growth. I also believe that religious practices that are not drawing us into acceptance of the beauty and ugliness of being human are leading us into a spirituality that is not helping us. Religious practices can be very good, but they are not the goal. They are meant to lead us into spirituality. Spirituality is the continuing struggle with our humanness that draws us into love and compassion.
From my perspective, that is what spirituality is all about.
More next time.
Smile, God Loves You,
Father Clay
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