Dear People Whom God Loves,
Two monologues means that two people (or groups)state their position as clearly as possible to each other. This is an advance over the subtle or not so subtle stating of our position by expressing only what we think will win the argument and is not entirely what we think or believe. Two monologues is an advance, but it is not dialogue. With two monologues, the best that transpires is that the two sides can only come together by horse-trading. Each side gives something. This is quite imperfect, but in the atmosphere today, we often don’t allow ourselves to come even to this limited agreement.
Notice that with two monologues, we are more interested in winning, but we fool ourselves by believing that we are seeking truth. I think that when my ego is in charge, truth takes a back seat.
Dialogue adds another crucial dimension. That is listening to the other side with an open willingness to understand the other’s point of view. Listening requires letting go of the desire to win. Our goal becomes understanding . . . not winning. One way to help us know whether or not we are understanding is to express as clearly as we can the other person’s point of view and to continue to rephrase our understanding until the other person can honestly say to us that we have understood what they mean.
Both sides must do this or there is no dialogue. When this mutual understanding is accomplished, we will have more respect for each other. We will have honored each other. Often this will modify our
point of view. Even if there is no modification, we have accomplished a great deal. This will allow us to take the next step. We can then see the value of the other perspective. It is helpful to realize that every human perspective is limited. Only God can see reality as it truly is.
This can then allow us to see reality more deeply. That will allow us to enrich our own perspective and find solutions at a deeper level than would otherwise be possible. We can then be reconciled to each other which is more deeply valuable than the enriching of our perspective.
I wish we could learn this in politics . . . but even more so in our church. The message of Jesus within is to love each other. Love is blocked when our ego is the center of our life.
Smile, God Loves You,
Father Clay
Leave a Reply